O, English gang, the shirts, the shirts are calling,
From room to room and even in the great outside.
The Friday’s near, when the purple’s all for wearing,
‘Tis you, ‘tis you must wear the shirt or you must hide.
 
But come ye in, when the sun is just appearing,
Or show up late, when even Dawn’s gone home,
The shirts will glow, in sunshine or in shadow,
O, shirts of ours,  O shirts of ours, we love you so.

And if you care, to never write a wrong,
Yet you are mocked, as mocked ye well may be,
Then come and find the place where it is written,
“They've raised a thousand bucks for charity.”

And they shall know, those ones who may not realize
That scholars' dreams will warm and sweeter be,
If you'll not fail to chip in come this Friday,
When we wear our T’s for English at GC.
 

We'll, here we are a hootin and a hollerin
our way down the slippery slope of the next
seven weeks, so to celebrate, I've jes sat back,
lit up that old corncob, and lawsy, out this came.

It's over to you now, folks. Put on your Flatt and Scruggs,
have a little slug of what the revenuers never found, and sing your purty little heads off -- or hearts out, jump in your jalopy and head west  --  or do whatever it is that makes your meanin clear as a roadrunner in a bowl of Cheerios. Hoo-ey! In fact...

Come and listen to a story about a shirt's that's cool
A bright purple T that you can wear to school,
It's this Friday when we'll be looking good,
And if you don't wear your shirt, at least you know you could.
 
Write, that is. No wrongs. English T.

Well, the first thing you do is make sure you have a buck,
‘Cause Dawn’ll say, “If you don't, you're out of luck.”
Yep, the English Department's the place you ought to be,
So, that's why we're here, and working hard at GC.

College, that is.  Sloughs of Despond, department chairs.

Well, now it's time to say once more to all you folks out there,
“Friday's the day for your shirts, so wear ‘em if you dare.”
And you're invited back next month to this locality,
To have a heapin’ helpin of Ruthie’s excuse for levity.

Foolish, that is. Laugh a spell. Don't take your shirts off.
Y’all come back now, hear?

Feeling more like that kid in Deliverance every day!

Ruthie