Ruth's Remarkable Parodies
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Big B, Big Bad B
9/28/2005

So stand up straight, square your shoulders and prepare to sing along through your adenoids...

Ever' mornin' in the term you can see him arrive
He chews toothpicks and strolls the halls of 05;
Kinda narra at the shoulder and broad at the hip
Ever'body knows you don't give no lip to Big B.

Big B, Big Bad B.

Nobody seems to know what Big B does
He just drifts along for coffee to get hisself a buzz.
He doesn't say much, kinda quiet and shy,
And if he speaks at all, he just asks "Why?"

Somebody said he was a newspaper man
"Press" card in his hatband, First Amendment in his hand;
For it's freedom of the press that makes him smile
And the thought of retiring in just a little while, Big B.

Big B, Big Bad B.

Then the day arrived to assess our every class
When the CWAC orders came and folks started cryin'
Teachers were prayin' and hearts beat fast
And ever'body thought they'd graded their last, 'cept B;

Through the dust and smoke of this man made hell
Walks a giant of a chair that his cooleagues know well
He's grabbing a rubric and starting in to score
And like the leader that he is, he's askin’ for more, Big B.

With his great blue marker, he draws a mighty line
And then he yells out, "We're gonna be fine!"
A hundred folks scramble from a would-be mess,
And now there's only one… but I digress.

With newly kindled zest they're starting back in
Then comes that growlin' just under the skin;
Worst of all is the fear of another awful rhyme
And ever'body knows it's finally lunch time, for Big B.

Now folks should know better than to sing these worthless songs.
They should stick to teaching English and writin' no wrongs;
But just think this little thought when you wear your T:
Runnin' this department is a big, big man, Big B.

Big B, Big Bad B.

Yeehaw!

Ruthie