Okay, Cooleagues!
For this month's offering, we're well out of the
corrupt and decaying world of Berlin cabarets, of sleazy nightclubs
and slimy lounge lizards, of Broadway musicals when the greasepaint
is off and the house lights are dark. Instead, think all-American
gravel-voiced loner and anti-hero -- in and out of prison, falling
into burning rings of fire, walking these hills in a long black
veil, and all the while he 's doing these things he's named Sue.
Hmmm. That actually DOES sound rather decadent in itself...
Anyway, 'tis the season for the Man in Black -- so if not actually
from fabulously rich, successful and compelling Joachim Phoenix but
low-budget, barely maintaining and plaintively Ruthie Sun City to
you... here comes the song. So shoulder those air guitars (or at
least everybody except for MJ with her broken wrist), make a dimple
in your craggy chins and begin!
I present...
We wear
the T
I keep a close watch on this shirt of mine
I keep it ready for Fridays all the time
I keep writing songs with an occasional spondee
Because I'm me, I wear the T.
I find it very, very easy to ad-lib
I find it appallingly simple to be glib
Yes, I'll admit my rhymes are often twee
But because I'm me, I wear the T.
As sure as it's clear no wrongs can e're be right
And that we were once Rhetoric Rangers dressed in white
Yet the funds increase despite my repartee
Because I'm me, I wear the T.
We've got a way to keep our dollars rolling in
So our students can take them out again,
When you see Dawn, remember it's C.O.D.
Because we're we, we wear the T.
We keep a close watch on these shirts of ours
We keep our purses poised for the giving hours
We keep the bucks out for our students’ needs
Because we're we, we wear our Ts!
It's true; I
wrote it one verse at a time, and it didn't cost me a dime... And
once again, I take my hat off to all of you -- fabulously generous
anonymous donors, t-shirt dollar cougher-uppers, paycheck deducters
and so on and so forth. The Purple Crush rocks!
Ruthie!
Ruth's
Remarkable Parodies