Gypsies, Tramps and T's

Ruth's Remarkable Parodies

Well, Cooleagues,

How to prepare you for this one? I guess you need to start by casting your minds back to the Swinging Sixties and exotic singers with just one name. Picture me with long black hair, a high, aquiline nose, and a midget of a partner. Good.
Now, here we are as the medicine show rolls into the parking lot behind 05. We rush out to the wagon, clamoring for the little bottles that promise so much to so many...
Will this Friday bring snake oil or scholarships? It's your dollar, of course, but hark first to my lyric...

Gypsies, Tramps and T's!

I was born on a cart of travellin' slides
Got a job showin' pictures nobody could abide,
But then I started rhymin' whatever I could
Taught a little English, got up to no good.

Chanteuse, vamp with screeds,
I'd hear it from my cooleagues at the school
They'd call me chanteuse, vamp with screeds,
But every month all the folk would come around
And lay their money down.

Picked out a shirt just west of Glendale
Put it on my bod every month without fail
I was real petite; it was XXL
And Carmie often told me that I looked just swell.

I never had schoolin' but it taught me well
With its concern for no wrongs,
Yet three years later I'm a gal in trouble
Still writin' drivel in my songs, uh-huh
Still writin' drivel in my songs.

This song was born with a motive pure as snow
You've read this far so you might as well know,
I'll surely do whatever I can
To encourage your donation, to pry two dollars from your hand.

Chanteuse, vamp with screeds,
I'd hear it from my cooleagues at the school
They'd call me chanteuse, vamp with screeds,
But every month all the folk would come around
And lay their money down.

But every month all the folk would come around
And lay their money down (and fade...)

Whew! I think I'll have to loosen my corset after that! Many thanks -- and now, I'm back to the slide cart!

Ruthie