Ruth's Remarkable Parodies

More Ruth's Remarkable Parodies

Greetings, Cooleagues,

Yes, terrifying as it may seem, it is that time again! Not only are we creeping (perhaps slithering) up to All Hallows' Eve, the Dia de los Muertos and All Souls Day, but we have passed the midterm mark, and the hallways are littered with the corpses of the #42 dropped students -- just the unexcused absentees -- or the undead?

And so it is in keeping with this jolly holiday time that I draw your attention to THIS FRIDAY and my monthly request for $2 to Dawn --$1 for the general scholarship fund and $1 for Pat's.

So now, draw your three legged stools closer to your cauldrons, drop in a pinch of decaf eye of newt, adjust the warts on your noses and release the bats, or should that be the eagles? (Backdrop of sinister giggling and rubbing of bony hands...)

Flying hair and zaftig hips
Pearls cast from her wrinkled lips;
Despite desperate grading late at night
She's a poet with a cause who's puttin' on the bite.

Wooo hooo, t-shirt woman,
See how low she’ll stoop.
Wooo hooo, t-shirt woman
See her appeal to her peer group.

She'll hold you spellbound on the page
Writing wrongs is no outrage;
Crazy laughter in another room
It's no wonder that she writes under a nom de plume.

Wooo hooo, t-shirt woman,
See how low she’ll stoop.
Wooo hooo, t-shirt woman
See her appeal to her peer group.

Well, I know you'll want to donate,
On two bucks you'll need to fixate,
She'll be looking for you come Friday.
And there's some rumors going round,
Whether or not you give your pay
She'll harass you every blessed month
Come what may.
 
Wooo hooo, t-shirt woman,
See how low she’ll stoop.
Wooo hooo, t-shirt woman
See her appeal to her peer group.

Aaaaacccccckkkkkkkk! I'm melting......................

Witchy Wruthie!