Ruth's Remarkable Parodies

More Ruth's Remarkable Parodies

Greetings, Cooleagues!

Yes, it's that time again and in effort to raise the tone a bit, I have decided that we should at least begin the new year in a wholesome and fun-filled way, so you all need to get out your blond wigs, big blue
eyes and All-American-girl-next-door-turns-out-to-be-glamorous good looks.

Now, add a moonlit night, a modest string of pearls, the puzzled stirrings of youthful passion in an EVER so slightly heaving bosom and imagine singing to yourselves about the mysteries of life itself…

Ladies and gentlemen, I present that most philosophical of all songs…

When I was just a little girl,
I asked my mother,
"What should I wear?
Will I be classy?
Will I be odd?"
Here is her wisdom to share:
"Que sera, sera,
A t-shirt is it, I swear;
There's nothing else to compare.
Que sera, sera!
It’s the t that will be!"

Then I grew up and read _Vogue_ magazine,
I wrote asking Abby,
"Am I just dewy-eyed?
Will I find matching shoes and a bag?"
Here’s what Dear Abby replied:
"Que sera, sera,
A t-shirt is it, I swear;
There’s nothing else to compare.
Que sera, sera!
It’s the t that will be!"

When I first tried to raise a buck,
I wondered how low I could sink,
"Would I have standards?
Would I cause pain?"
Here’s what I finally think:
"Que sera, sera,
A t-shirt is it, I swear;
There’s nothing else to compare.
Que sera, sera!
It’s the t that will be!"

Now though I write songs of wrongs myself,
My cooleagues ask me,
"What should we wear?
What goes with purple?
Why won't you quit?"
I tell them it's their cross to bear:
"Que sera, sera,
A t-shirt it is, I swear;
Whatever else could compare?
Que sera, sera!
It’s the t that will be!"

And now! A message from our sponsor (actually, we're THEIR sponsor!) – that would be the Maricopa Community Colleges Foundation <http://www.maricopa.edu/resdev/index.php>.


PLEASE if you intend to give $4 or $8 this term, make Dawn’s life easier and write just one check and give it to her, as the cashier’s office will no longer accept cash! You can still make a note on the check for the Pat Haas Scholarship or the general English Department Scholarship <http://www.gc.maricopa.edu/English/purpleshirts.htm> -

Also, of course, this way, you can claim a tax deduction! As Gene Kelly put it, “Who could ask for anything more?”

Well, it’s been another shocking episode and I apologize!

Ruthie!