Ruth's Remarkable Parodies
More Ruth's Remarkable Parodies

So, Cooleagues!

Better late than never! Today's offering is in the spirit of Spring Break! Now I can just picture you all last week -- in the sunny luxury of the fashionable resorts of Cap d' Antibes -- or was that Lake Havasu? --  beach towels draped ever so artfully on tanned, buff, bronzed bods ....
And yet, no matter how we preen, how perfect we are, there is always that one, unobtainable, elusive someone --- the huge Jackie O sunglasses, the tiny, subtle, chic-beyond-imaging wisp of a bathing costume -- moving with effortless grace to a samba playing in her head alone, leaving that unmistakable fragrance of Coppertone downwind as she glides along the sand...

Short and squat and a little peculiar
The teacher from the English department writes lyrics
And when she mails them, each one that gets them goes - "Ick."

Ah, when she writes, she writes like Sam Coleridge
Who was high when he wrote about Kub,
But when she tries it, each try is less like a dream than like - ick.

Ooh, but she keeps on so badly,
How can we tell her we’ve had it?
Yes, we would give our dough gladly,
But each month, when the song comes along,
It’s so painful we just can’t go on.

Short and squat and a little peculiar
The teacher from the English department writes lyrics
And when she mails them, we flinch – but she never sees
She just doesn’t see, she never sees we…

Bet you wish I'd passed on this month's appeal!

Ruthie